Ask Edward!
by Kiba no Koneko
Summary: Here you get to ask Edward Cullen ANYTHING you'd like--this could range from why he likes Bella, to why he's such a Mary Sue/Gary Stu! Just make sure you don't push the rating over T.
1. No Visitors

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often.**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: What? I know I read that Wikipedia article correctly. "Mary Sues" are girls, and "Gary Stus" are men. You might want to make sure you're using to words right.

Kiba: *checks* Um… Yeah, I am. Don't worry!

Edward: You are such a little girl!

Kiba: That makes two of us! Well, I think I should introduce myself, since everyone probably knows Cullen.

Edward: I have a first name.

Kiba: Yep. So do I! Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to give out any personal information, so I'll give you a fake name instead: Kiba no Koneko. Nah, I'm not actually Japanese, but I like all the anime and crap from Japan, so deal. (Well, the Japanese people who may or may not read this probably figured that out, since Koneko hasn't been used as a name, as far as I know. And Kiba is a guy's name.) Anyways, you can call me Kiba.

Edward: That was a long introduction.

Kiba: Thanks!

Edward: … By the way, why haven't I been able to read your mind?

Kiba: Because the Mary Sue Slayer Force, or MSSF (as created by Reaper-Lawliet) have already taken a good look at you, and dulled your powers a bit.

Edward: "A bit?"

Kiba: Yep! As in, a lot, but I wanted to sound more official!

Edward: … So, when are we starting?

Kiba: Oh yeah! I forgot! -.-' Okay, so I guess I have to ask Cullen some questions to set this in gear.

1)Do you know… THE MUFFIN MAN?!?!

Edward: What?

Kiba: The muffin man!

Edward: The muffin man?

Kiba: Hmph. I don't know what Bella saw in your singing voice. You suck.

Edward: Just ask the next question.

Kiba:

2)Do you wanna be a pepper, too?

Edward: No.

Kiba: … I don't, either. NEXT!

3)Why did you stalk Bella?

Edward: I wasn't _stalking_ her; I was just watching her sleep to... make sure no werewolves came.

Kiba: Oh, I think I get it now. In any case, we're pretty much out of time, now! (Meaning, I don't have any more questions I want to ask as of yet.) So, ask plenty of embarrassing and possibly stupid questions! I don't mind fangirls/fanboys; they make things all the more fun!

Edward: …

Kiba: (whispering) Say goodbye!

Edward: Goodbye.


	2. No Visitors, Still

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often.**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: Is this going to be a frequent thing?

Kiba: Yup! Isn't this a fun fic?

Edward: No.

Kiba: Well… Here's someone's review!

From Mmakii:

Questions:

Eddie, how do you know your not a stalker?

"Eddie": Obviously, because I am a vampire—the _main_ vampire—and therefore, I do not _stalk_ people. I merely observe them quietly.

And, Kiba… why did you change my name?

Kiba: I didn't change your name! That was Mmakii, remember?

… it makes a sense …

Eddiekins, why don't you think werewolfs smell good? To me, at least, they smell of the forest… (I'm making up crap now…)

Eddiekins: The smell horrible! They are the vilest things to walk the planet and—dammit, change it back to Edward!

Kiba: Make me.

Eddiekins: … Back to the subject… Werewolves are useless creatures. And besides that, they're also _not even werewolves!_

Kiba: Shame on you, Cullen! I'm going to have to censor you if you start spouting spoilers like that!

Eddiekins: This is ridiculous.

Kiba: (ignoring Edward) Thanks for the review and the new nickname for Cullen, Mmakii!

Eddiekins: I'm being serious. Just change my name back.

Kiba: Fine. But you have to read the next question

Edward: There aren't any.

Kiba: … Really?

Edward: Yes. You can check for yourself if you don't believe me.

Kiba: (scrolls through email) (muttering) Yahoo… a favorite… Mmakii's review… another message from Yahoo… (returns to normal voice level) You're right! What are we going to do?!

Edward: Stop writing this story?

Kiba: No, that's a stupid idea… Maybe I'll just post this as-is. Dang.

Edward: I liked my idea more.

Kiba: Well, anyway… I'm gonna _invite_ some other characters to the story, because I realize how boring Edward is. So, in the next chapter, you'll see Jacob and Isabella.

Edward: You mean 'Bella.'

Kiba: Who says?


	3. Jacob and Isabella

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often.**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: It's only the third chapter and that's already old.

Kiba: I guess that sucks for you, then.

Jacob: Why are we here?

Isabella: I was just wondering that same thing.

Kiba: Obviously, because these Q&A things are starting to became a fanfiction trend.

Isabella, Jacob, and Edward: …

Jacob: So, people actually _read_ crap like this?

Isabella: What's 'fanfiction?'

Kiba: (pulls up the Wikipedia article) Read that. Everyone else knows what fanfiction is, and I don't want to explain it.

Isabella: (sighs and reads the over-extensive article about fanfiction)

Kiba: (stares at the screen for a while) You're slow.

Isabella: Like you could read any faster. How old are you, eleven?

Kiba: Thirteen, actually. And I _can_ read faster than you.

Jacob: (rolls eyes) This is stupid. How long are we going to have to wait for the damn questions, anyway?

Kiba: Wow, that's two people I'm going to have to censor.

Jacob: Just answer the question!

Kiba: I don't know. I can't predict the future—oh, look! A review!

From Chocolate9652:

I love the story.

Kiba: Thanks!

Here is A question…

Why does Emmett LOVE Rosalie so much? I mean Ed must know scince he always reads Emmett's and Rosalie's mind.

Edward: True love cannot be questioned.

Kiba: (rolls eyes) I think it's because they were both vampires and Rosalie saved Emmett, so it's not like they couldn't love each other. (My other theory is that Stephanie Meyer couldn't write it any other way, because she thought it was a hot pairing.)

Next, from Ary911:

thats funny. i think you should ask bella would she leave edward if he could  
read her mind. that would be funny.

Isabella: (pauses in reading) Of course I'd still love him! Love isn't based on someone's abilities and disabilities!

Kiba: She's lying. She'd totally leave the stalker.

Isabella: You can't know that!

Kiba: Oh, but can't I?

Edward: No, you can't.

Kiba: Say, Edward… would _you_ leave Isabella if you could read her mind? I mean, after all, the only reason you noticed her at all was because you couldn't.

Edward: Sure, that's why I noticed her. But if I could read her mind, I'm sure I'd love every bit of it.

Kiba: … You guys are just full of all those cheesy one-or-two-liners, aren't you?

Edward/Isabella: That's what you think.

From AnimEpRiNcESS1901:

lolz, this chapteris funny.

Kiba: Thank you. ^.^

to edward: why are you so freaking moody all the time?

Edward: Because there are some people who _sing_ in their thoughts, especially the annoying songs, such as Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus. In addition to that, most people have annoying thoughts anyways. Did that answer your question?

to bella: why are you always falling over thin air?

Isabella: I don't fall over _thin air_.

Kiba: Right, she falls over _thick_ air. I think you're forgetting the humidity level they probably have in Forks, what with all the rain.

Isabella: _No_, I fall over the very small pebbles in the concrete! I'm just a klutz.

to jacob: why are you obessed with the cullens?

Jacob: I'm—

Kiba: He's obsessed with Isabella, not the Cullens in particular. The only reason he may seem obsessed with Edward is because he's directly connected to Isabella.

Jacob: I was going to say "I'm not obsessed," but I suppose that works, too.

Kiba: I knew what you were going to say; that's why I cut in and gave pRiNcESS a more thorough response. From now on, guys, you can't defend yourself. You have to actually answer the question, like Edward did in the first question pRiNcESS asked.

Bella and Jacob: Fine.

lolz, i just got really bored, i'll be waiting to se what you do with these  
questions.

Kiba: You won't have long to wait, I promise. Actually, I was waiting for a third question so that I could finally post this. =) Last time, it was boring only answering one question. So now I have to get at least three reviews before I post this!

Next chapter, Jacob and Bella won't be here. Instead, I'm dragging in Jasper and Alice.

So, until next time, 'bye!

Everyone else: Bye.


	4. Alice and Jasper

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often.**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: I'm serious. Stop saying that.

Kiba: Nah. I won't stop until one of my reviewers tells me to; what tell me to do is about as meaningless as a dead fly.

Edward: … You're really comparing me to a dead insect?

Kiba: Yup. And before we completely forget that they exist, here's Alice and Jasper.

Jasper: (doesn't speak, stares eerily at everyone in the room, while still facing only one spot on the wall)

Alice: (smiling brightly) This sounds like fun! It's weird how I didn't see this, though… are there werewolves involved?

Kiba: No. The Mary Sue Slayer Force (MSSF) is restraining everyone's powers.

Alice: The Mary Sue Slayer Force? Who are they?

Kiba: I'll explain them later. Anyways, we have a review.

From Ary911:

yay! you answered my question. you are the bomb!!

Kiba: You're welcome and thanks. =)

ask alice if its annoying to just all of a sudden get those visions.

Alice: It depends on what I'm doing. If I'm about to get a long lecture from Edward or Esme, I'l gladly welcome the vision because it'll get me out of trouble immediately. But if I'm doing certain activities, then I'll be upset.

ask jasper if its wierd to feel emmett's feelings sometimes. akward huh? 

Jasper: Not anymore. It used to be, but then I got used to it. (returns to normal creepy silence)

lol

From,  
Ary911

Kiba: Wow, we just had reviews rolling in today! From csr:

ok, loving this,

Kiba: (smiles) Thanks.

and to Eddie-stalker-kinz i want to ask why he and Rosalie are not together?  
they both have the whole gorgeous, arrogant, people-should-worship-at-my-feet  
thing going on. plus, Emmett and Bella would be the cutest couple... er,  
dead.

Edward: (slightly pissed) I suppose if what you say is true, that we have an "arrogant, people-should-worship-at-my-feet thing going on," then I suppose the reason should be that opposites attract.

Kiba: (shrugs) I dunno, so don't look at me. I never even thought of those pairings.

Now, from HaleyE-L Cullen:

I love this story! Its awesome!

Kiba: I'm getting a lot of those. Thank you!

To Ed Fred- What is you're favorite color?

Edward: I guess you mean me. My favorite color is pink, if you must know.

Kiba: Gaaaaaaaaaayyyyy… Oops, I don't mean to offend the gays.

Edward: (glares)

Kiba: Why are you squinting at me?

To Edward- Can there be vampire monkeys?!

Edward: Theoretically, yes.

This story is freaking funny! LOL

Kiba: Thanks.

PS-I love Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus is annoying as mess!

Kiba and Edward: I hate both of them.

Kiba: But Miley Cyrus is, by far, the worst. (mocking voice) "I put my hands up, playing my song, the butterflies fly away!"

Alice: I think you guys are being a little hard on them.

Kiba: Oh, and then Lady Gaga, (also said mockingly) "Puh-puh-puh-poker face puh-puh-poker face. Muh-muh-muh-muh."

Alice: …

From yousuckmonkeyballs:

That was the lamest thing i have ever read.  
You suck.

Kiba: Thank you. I think you're awesome, too. :)

Edward: That's not what he/she said.

Kiba: I know. That's what _I_ said.

Jasper: (looks like he wants to say something)

Kiba: … (gives him a "go on" look)

Jasper: …

Kiba: Okay, is there something you'd like to say, Jasper? Before you pass out?

Jasper: (looks towards where he guesses is the audience) I hope that I can come on again in a future chapter.

Kiba: Okay, I'll keep that in mind. (grins) Well, in the next chapter, I'm inviting Emmett and Rosalie. So make sure you ask them some questions, too! Until then, bye-bye!

Jasper: Farewell.

Alice: Bye!

Edward: Goodbye.


	5. Emmet and Rosalie

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often. I also don't own High School Musical (thankfully).**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: And I have been sucked into this insanity.

Kiba: Don't feel bad, Edward! Just remember: **we're all in this together**!

Rosalie: (a little ticked from being ignored) Please, don't go High School Musical on me.

Kiba: But we can't just **stick to the status quo**!

Emmet: Right, Rosalie. We aren't all **fabulous **like you!

Rosalie: Urgh! (balls hands at sides and clamps mouth shut)

Kiba: (laughs) This is going to be a fun chapter!

Okay, from AnImEpRiNcESS1901:

To: Edward

:)(starts singing Miley songs in head) Emmett you can join in if you wanna...

Edward: I can't hear anyone's thoughts anymore, remember? That Mary Sue cult killed my powers.

Kiba: It isn't a _cult_. And just for that, I'm turning your powers back on. I can do this because I'm the authoress and just awesome like that.

Edward: I already have a headache. *rubs temples and walks off*

Anyways great story, and I am loving the fact that I get to annoy a whole bunch of random characters.

Kiba: Thanks, and I love that, too. =D

Emmet: (singing Banana Phone in head)

Edward: Emmet! Shut up!

Rosalie: Thank God I don't have Edward's powers.

From RozaHathoway:

why won't Jacob just kill Edward and steal Bella for himself? I bet he could do it!

Kiba: I really don't know. My theory is that it's because, since he isn't a main character, he's not nearly as strong as Edward.

Edward: (makes a 'tch' noise) Even if he _was_ a main character, I would still be stronger than him.

Kiba: Watch that conceit, Edward. People will think you're even more stuck-up than you are.

Emmet: They'll think you're Rosie, here. (grins playfully)

Rosalie: (punches Emmet)

Emmet: I was only joking! (rubs arm where Rosalie punched him)

Kiba: I don't think we'll be getting any more reviews.

Edward: Good.

Kiba: That isn't good! It means we have to update with only _two_ questions!

Emmet: Do you usually get more?

Kiba: …No…

Emmet: Then what are you so upset about?

Kiba: Fine, I guess you're right. In the next chapter, we'll have visitors from other books: Firestar from the Warriors saga, and Beyond Birthday from Death Note: Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Case.

Bye-bye, everyone!

Emmet, Rosalie and Edward: 'Bye.


	6. Beyond and Firestar

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often. I also don't own High School Musical (thankfully).**_

Kiba: Welcome to… Ask Edward!

The laughable Question & Answers game, featuring Edward… that's right… Cullen! The largest Mary Sue known to pubescent teenagers!

Edward: I would like to say someth—

Kiba: No. Shut up.

Edward: What has you all riled up?

Kiba: Firestar scratched me, and now it's infected.

Edward: Is that why you put him in that cat kennel?

Kiba: Right.

Edward: And Beyond Birthday is in one, too, because…?

Kiba: He has rabies.

Edward: …

Kiba: From JessicaCullen12:

Is edward still gonna be on?

Kiba: Yeah, why wouldn't he be?

I mean it is called ask Edward... Anyway this is for Edward: Waht does he think about all those gay love stories about him on FanFiction?

Edward: I didn't know there were any. From what Kiba tells me, the anime section of fanfiction dot net is full of gay stories—or 'yaoi'—but I didn't hear anything about Twilight fans doing that.

Kiba: (shrugs) Don't look at me. This is actually the first I've heard of it.

(P.S. I think the person who came up with them is gross, especially the one about Edward and Carlisle! ew!)

Edward: That's called incest.

Kiba: (scoffs) That's yaoi, in American form. I've seen worse in anime fandom—namely, Bleach. Someone thought it would be awesome to pair Ichigo up with his inner hollow. (His inner hollow is basically himself.)

Edward: That doesn't make sense.

Kiba: It doesn't have to.

From AnImEpRiNcESS1901:

Edward: What do you think of all those E/J, E/Em, E/R, and E/A stories?

Edward: Wow, that's two people who've brought this up.

E/J – Ridiculous.

E/Em – Ridiculous.

E/R – Makes sense, but I wouldn't leave Bella.

E/A – I like her more like a sister. She can be annoying, but she's family.

In other words, to all of the above: Not gonna happen.

Plus this story/show isn't that bad. If I were the author, you would be being for mercy.

Edward: Perhaps. I still don't like Kiba, though. She is annoying, to be blunt.

Kiba: You're always blunt.

Beyond Birthday: Hey! Look at us, over here! We exist! Helllloooo!

Kiba: Nobody's asked you anything yet, so shut up.

Firestar: Release me, Twoleg.

Edward: How is it we can understand him?

Kiba: Because this is my mind, where cats can talk and it occasionally rains chocolate and ham.

Edward: … Ham?

Kiba: Yeah, it's annoying. Do you know how _greasy_ it is?!

Edward: Let's hope it doesn't rain anytime soon.

Kiba: Even if it does, it'll probably just be orange soda. Don't worry!

Edward: There's something seriously wrong with you.

Kiba: You're jealous of my awesomeness.

Firestar: Let me out, Twoleg.

Kiba: You should have thought about the consequences _before_ you scratched me.

Firestar: I—

Beyond Birthday: I don't have rabies!!!

Kiba: Well, since I don't think we'll be getting any more questions for this chapter, I'll go ahead and ask a few. Um… Firestar, what stirred within you to join the feral cats?

Firestar: There isn't enough adventure in the life of a kittypet! And, besides, I swear to StarClan the forest was calling to me. Literally. It went, "…"

Kiba, Beyond Birthday, and Edward: …

Kiba: I'm sorry I asked. Okay, Beyond, what gave you the bright idea that murdering people would make you better than the World's Greatest Detective, Sherlo—I mean, L?

Beyond Birthday: I'm glad you find my idea to be bright. Well, you see, if L could not solve my case, that meant I would be more intelligent than him.

Kiba: Heh. Life sucks, and then you die, right? Anyway, Edward, why do your eyes change color?

Edward: So I can gauge how much time I have before I need to feed again.

Kiba: Oh. Makes sense, I guess. It's one of those vampire adaptations, right?

Edward: Yes.

Kiba: Well, that's all for now! Next chapter I'm inviting Sam Uley—or however you spell his last name—from, as you probably know, the Twilight Saga, and Winnie the Pooh from—you guessed it—_The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh_. Bye-bye, for now!

Edward: Goodbye.

Beyond Birthday and Firestar: Let me out of this—

Beyond Birthday: —cage!

Firestar: —tiny twoleg nest!


	7. Sam, Winnie, and Wonderweiss

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often. I also don't own High School Musical (thankfully).**_

Kiba: Wel—

Wonderweiss: LET ME GO BACK TO KEIROSHOMASU'S Q&A!!!

Kiba: Oh, right, this is Wonderweiss. He's autistic, so in reality, he actually sounded like "!!!" Anyway, I stole him from another Q&A. I'll give him back. Eventually.

Edward: Kidnapping seems to be your thing.

Kiba: It's fun! Hey, Sam! Winnie! How are ya?

Winnie the Pooh: (tapping head) Think, think, think…

Sam: This is stupid.

Kiba: You sound like Jacob. I guess it's a werewolf thing. Wow, it's been a few months. Where are the reviews?

Winnie: These? *holds out reviews*

Kiba: Yes, actually. *takes reviews and reads them*

Okay, from Hiddenfilly:

D: You hardly made fun of Firestar.

Kiba: Sorry. It just seemed like no one knew who he was. Plus, it's been a while since I've read Warriors.

But anyway. I couldn't help but crack up at the high school musical thing.

Kiba: Thanks!

Edward: It was annoying.

Wonderweiss: WHY AM I HERE?

Kiba: Why are you yelling?

Well, from SkyeGavin:

From the Content Guidelines;

Entries Not allowed:

5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.

6. Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries.

Kiba: Hm, I must've missed those. Sorry.

… Hey! My cousin's name is Gavin! ^.^

Edward: Of course it is. Anyways, I think that means we'd better pack up and leave.

Kiba: Are you kidding? The fun's just getting started! This is a side account, anyway! Let's post this sucker up!

Edward/Wonderweiss/Sam: You are such an idiot.

Kiba: Next time I'm 'inviting'… Um… *looks around room* *eyes land on a Pokémon poster* Pikachu! And Wonderweiss'll stay a while longer.

Wonderweiss: O.O


	8. Pikachu and Wonderweiss

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. The Mary Sue Slayer Force was created by Reaper-Lawliet, and I don't know if I'm allowed to use them or not, so they'll only be mentioned every so often.**_

Pikachu: Pika?

Kiba: Woops. I forgot to turn on the translator.

Edward: Then turn it on.

Kiba: Darn, I don't speak Sparkly Vampire, Eddie. I'm sorry.

Oh! I looked up 'guidelines' in the dictionary! It says: "an official recommendation indicating how something should be done or what sort of action should be taken in a particular circumstance." You know what that means? They're only _recommendations_. =D

I would make an awesome lawyer.

Edward: You would make an annoying lawyer.

Kiba: Your face is an annoying lawyer!

Edward: … What?

Kiba: Exactly.

Woo-hoo! A review!

From AnImEpRiNcESS1901:

hehehe…hai again! Anywho, poke edward for me? ;)

Kiba: Hi! And sure. =) *pokes Edward*

Edward: *ignores*

Kiba: Hey! Don't ignore the poke! *pokepokepokepokepoke*

Edward: Stop that!

***SEVERAL DAYS/MONTHS/WEEKS/YEARS/WHATEVER LATER***

Kiba: What? We have a review? Two reviews?

From AmericanRetard:

This is awesome by the way.

Kiba: Thank you. =D

Edward, what would you do if you found bella  
emmet together? And what would you do to emmet?

Edward: I would be… shocked. I _would_ say that I would kill Emmet, but he _is_ technically my brother. So I would kill myself.

Kiba: That's really stupid. I'd say "Good riddance!" and walk away with a big grin. But that's just me.

Edward: They were not asking you.

Kiba: *shrugs* Just thought I'd put in my two cents. WHOA. This next review is loooooonggg, guys. From Rei Sagara:

It's nice to meet you,Kiba-sama.

Kiba: Nice to meet you, too. But why am I –sama?

You may reconize me from Keiroshomasu-sama's  
Q&A.

Kiba: Yeah.

I got bored and decided to read his story since I skipped most of it and  
noticed that you had a Q&A, here I am.

Kiba: Glad to see I'm at the top of your reading list. =)

Anyways moving  
on!Hey,Wonderweiss-san!Do you still love candy?If you do here you go,I stole  
my little sis's candy!*gives Wonderweiss candy*Aww...X3

Wonderweiss: Thank you! *eats candy*

Edward: I thought the translator wasn't on.

Kiba: Dude, this fic was stagnant for months. Don't you think I would have turned the translator on by then?

...Pikachu-chan's  
here!*lifts Pikachu up and hugs 'em*Your my favorite pokemon!I miss what you  
show was like until they got rid of Misty-chan!(I don't watch it anymore.T^T)

Pikachu: Misty was nice to me! I don't like May! =(

*puts Pikachu down*

Pikachu: *is set down*

What's up,Edward-san?

Edward: Do I look Japanese to you?

*gives Edward a high five then  
sulks*It's not fair...you so much taller than I am...T^T.

Edward: I can't choose my height.

*sigh*Well I guess  
that's all I have to ya later!*hugs everyone then gives out cookies*I  
made them myself!n_n

Kiba: *noms on a cookie* Bye!

We finally have enough reviews to update! *does a happy dance* Though, it probably would have helped if I remembered to check the reviews in the first place…

Edward: Who are you going to invite this time?

Kiba: Um… I… don't know… Pikachu, who do you want to come here next time?

Pikachu: Misty! And Cater—

Kiba: Only one person! Wonderweiss?

Wonderweiss: Tousen-kun!

Kiba: Okay, so we have Misty and Tousen coming next time. Wonderweiss and Pikachu will be gone, Edward stays, I should be here, and… I think that's it.

Edward: Jasper is coming again.

Kiba: Okay. So Jasper's here next time, too. Bye!


	9. Misty, Jasper, and Tousen

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I hardly even own ME. (Since my friend claims my arm is hers.)**_

Kiba: (reading fanfics that I need to catch up on)

Jasper: There's a review… from Rei Sagara:

Edward:I like adding Japanese honorifics at the end of you don't  
like it I can just call you your name without it.

Edward: Please.

Kiba: Maybe you should call him "Edowarudo-san," so that it sounds more Japanese-y.

Edward: We should keep my name as "Edward."

Kiba:Do you want sama,chan or no honorific at the end of your name?

Kiba: I don't care. ^.^ I was just wondering why you called me –sama.

Misty:Misty-chan!*hugs Misty*I miss you in the anime soo much!They replaced  
you with annoying crybabies!(May and Dawn)

Misty: It's okay. (pats Rei on the back) I'm still getting paid.

I have 1 question for  
(the anime)started about 11 years ago and none of the cast ever  
is that?(I wanna never age but it's impossible...)

Misty: Well… it's a cartoon. But I think Ash aged. Listen to his voice now!

Tousen:Hello.I have nothing to say to you.*smiles*Sorry.

Tousen: Do not worry.

Kiba: Why do I get the feeling that Tousen is extremely out of character?

Well that's all I ya!*gives everyone chocolate*Enjoy the  
chocolate!^_^

Tousen and Edward: (looks at chocolate)

Kiba: (noms on my chocolate bar) (the chocolate is already melting) Thanks! Bye!

Misty: Thank you!

Jasper: (stares at chocolate, surprised that someone gave him something) Thank you…

Kiba: (falls over) Another one! From Agent Maine:

For the love of all things holy, and RvB, please delete this.

Kiba: Don't bring God into this!

It makes my eyes burn, and I have the sudden desire to poke my eyes out with a  
fork after reading this abomination.

Kiba: That sounds painful.

Interactives fics are against the Guidelines' dipsh*t. Consider yourself  
reported.

Kiba: I'm reported? (eyes light up) Yes! That's the first time any of my fics have gotten enough attention to be reported! Thank you! Thank you!

I suppose a congratulations are in order- when they write the new morality  
codes for how to not be a completely sh*t writer I am sure they will name  
entire sections of the doctrine after you. It seems you will have your place  
in history, my dear illiterate fanbrat.

Kiba: This is… this is just awesome! I'm so glad that you care so much! It just brings a big huge smile to my face!

Trying getting an actual grammar book, learn how to spell for f*cks sake and  
actually write instead of masturb*ting to a picture of Edward Cullen.

Kiba: Eww. Why would I masturbate to Cullen? Wait… girls can masturbate?

Edward: …

Kiba: And where did I make spelling mistakes? I guess I'll go back and fix whatever I screwed up on. Thanks for telling me about them! Could you direct me to the exact chapter where most of my grammatical errors are? That would be great.

Much love, sweets,

Agent Maine

Kiba: Love? Sweets? Are we getting more chocolate?

Tousen: …

Kiba: Oh, all three reviews in one night? That's unheard of. I'll update in the morning.

From walle on transulator:

okay so by the way you need to talk more it gets kinda boring when you just  
insult edward...

Kiba: Okay. Thank you for the advice

but anyways hers my question:do vampires have spit cause it  
was just on my mind nagging me then i found this and was so happy cause i  
wanted to find out so ... ya... happy days

Edward: (spits blood on the ground)

Kiba: Apparently so! Except… it's not exactly saliva, which is probably what you were referring to. Close enough, right? Since I'm supposed to talk more, uh… I hardly ever have much to talk about. And I doubt you want to hear me talk about how I don't have anything to talk about. Which I'm doing right now. That's called rambling, isn't it? I think it is. Yeah, 'cause—

Edward: (puts a hand over my mouth)

Kiba: (rambling is muffled behind Edward's hand)

ciao

Tousen: Goodbye. Again from Rei Sagara:

Oops,I forgot to tell you some stuff in my last first thing I  
forgot to tell you is that I tend to write long reveiws unless I'm in a  
hurry.

Kiba: Umphughleukkaaholoo.

Edward: (takes his hand off my mouth)

Also I'll try to be a permanent reveiwer for your story,it's very  
funny!^_^

Kiba: Thanks!

Keep up the good work and try not to let the admins delete this  
story.

Kiba: They'll delete it if they want. I can't stop them.

Oh and I was able to get Hinata-sama to help me make the chocolate and  
the cookies from the last chapter so the food is alright to I give you  
any food in the future it will either be store bought or someone helped me  
make it.

Kiba: That's good to know. =) We already ate some anyway.

Well I think that's all I forgot to say so see ya!*leaves*

Kiba: Bye! Okay, _now_ I can upload this. Haha.

Misty: Goodbye!


	10. Misty, Jasper, and Tousen are Still Here

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I hardly even own ME. (Since my friend claims my arm is hers.)**_

Kiba: I just realized that I didn't invite anyone today. So I guess they're all still here.

From Rei Sagara:

Wow,the last chapter was actually long.

Kiba: I know, right?

Kiba:I usually call people 'sama' because...*thinks over it while*I have no idea...*sweatdrops*

Kiba: Oh, okay. I think I get it now!

Edward: Get _what_?

Edward:Hmm...Why do you sparkle?In other vampire movies they don't.

Edward: Because it attracts humans.

Kiba: No, it really doesn't. It scares people.

Also if Jasper is still here your welcome!And my sister always tells me I'm like a girl version of you.

Jasper: What…?

(I don't get it either...)Well I guess I'll see you all later!*hugs everyone and gives them candy*

Kiba: (grinning happily) I love Jolly Ranchers~

From historygeek22:

I love it. Especially how you referenced Hsm.(starts singing you are the music in me remix...)

Kiba: Thank you!

Edward: (sighs and walks off) People need to stop singing.

But anyway awesome story.

Kiba: Thanks again. =)

I wonder who win in a rapbattle Edward or pikachu...

Edward: I would.

Of course it be Pikachu but then Misty would cool him down.

Edward: You can't be serious.

Misty: You should hear Pikachu rap sometime.

Kiba: Bye, historygeek22! I feel lazy today, so I'm not updating, even though I just realized that we have another review, from currently in sugar rush:

lolroflmfao ingnore the haters with they're hatey comments *shunns haters*

Kiba: What haters?

anyways on to my questions *ahem*

-edwart:*gives cookie* message from aro- come to the dark side we have cookies

Edward: Tempting, but no.

2. because billy's in a wheel chair does it ever tempt you to knock him over?

Edward: Never. I don't think I've met him, anyways.

Kiba: Please keep in mind that I read two pages of "Breaking Dawn" before throwing it on the ground and calling it a "Bad Book."

3 will you give emmet the permission to torture you with his mind?if not we  
will ignore you :P

Edward: No. Ignore me all you want.

-kiba: can pikachu bite edward? if not please play DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES song as  
eddie-boy's torture.

Kiba: Pikachu isn't here. =( (turns on YouTube and starts playing "Do You Like Waffles" over and over again)

Edward: (eyetwitch) You gave me a headache.

Kiba: Bye! Do you like waffles? Yeah, we like waffles~!

Edward: (closes chapter, which turns off the song)

Kiba: Hey—! By the way, I never chose who was coming, so it will just be Edward and me and you guys and maybe Carlisle…yeah, Carlisle can come, so—(is cut off)


End file.
